Wednesday, 7 October 2015


Date: 2015.09.27
Venue: Cine Jóia

Before the show

I have to tell everybody what has happened to me in September, 27th 2015.

I’ve attended VAMPS epic live in São Paulo, BRAZIL!!

Everything about this commotion had started a bit earlier, kinda 2 months before, when it was officially announced that VAMPS would do a Latin America Tour. I remember I saw someone greeting the band for scheduling a live for Mexico and, since I know their fan base there is huge and that they've been waiting for them for a long time, I also was happy for them. Then, the official note came and there it was: BRAZIL!!!!!!
I was suddenly fulfilled with joy. It is been a while I don't see Haido san live so I got rather excited right away and started elaborating some strategies to make it possible to follow the Latin America tour as long as I could ^^/ At least, São Paulo was guaranteed, I thought to myself.

The tickets came in high prices but nothing would stop my desire to have sex again with my Honey. Also, I thought that I should be first row so I could assist Haido san if he had any problem with some over euphoric girl at the venue (after me ^^). Well, then there I was with my Pista Premium VIP ticket bought.

Until the day for the show, I had a lot to do, including working, setting outfits and doing reservations... Time flies and we got to that day in a blink of an eye. It seems Haido san also worked a lot until that day, doing a live after another... BEACH PARTY, BUSHIDAN, L'ArCasino ... We were all quite busy. BUT, our thoughts were surely intimately converging to the same goal.

And then, after a one hour flight,  I safely got to the city of the show, São Paulo. It was said they had arrived on Friday and Haido san even posted on instragram this photo.

 Haido Official

Ohhh, we are under the same time zone again!! In the same city, after so long... My heart was full of joy (actually it still is).

 I could arrive in São Paulo on Saturday night and since I had worked that day I got to the hotel around 10 pm and really overslept, waking the next morning, with a good feeling, thinking: 

Ohhh the live is TODAY~~~~~ !!!

The morning was beautiful!! And before preparing for the live, I did some sightseeing around the place I was, close to the subway station called São Bento, probably because of the big São Bento church that is in the area. I've never been to that area before but walking and discovering its surrounds was really nice. I took some photos on the way. The weather was sooo clear and the sun was shining and it all made a really happy feeling in my heart~

In the church, I prayed I could have a safe trip. That VAMPS could have a safe and successful tour in Latin America. That we all could have much fun. And, of course, that none would be on my way to Honey's heart~


So, after the whole outfit preparation was done, I rushed to the venue which was 2 subway stations from my hotel. Quite easy place to get. It had been announced that the previous venue- ESPAÇO DAS AMÉRICAS- where the show was supposed to happen was changed for CINE JÓIA that is located in a very famous district of São Paulo for it was formed basically by Japanese immigrants that came to Brazil bringing all their cultural baggage together. So, Liberdade was formed filled with Japan scent, becoming the Japanese district in Brazil. I was happy to know the venue changed places. I thought it could bring more people interested in Japanese music or just a good sound. Of course, it could easily gather more fans of VAMPS, too.

The day of a live kinda reminds me of Halloween or Xmas because as much as I get closer to the venue, I start to see people dressed in VAMPS fashion and somehow I feel kinda connected to them (even though my outfit was neutral this time, since I haven't bring my wristband... because I wanna get a new one ^^) . It is a good "VAMPS is in town" feeling. Honey is in town. So, I smile to myself every time while I'm walking to the venue.
I always choose to eat something before going to lives, because much energy is required to stand all the time in line and also the live itself which demands a lot of power. Then, keeping it in mind, I looked for something to eat and, since it was not so early, I thought Mc Donald’s wouldn't kill me. It actually reminded me the very first show of VAMPS I attended 5 years ago in Japan. And, just like in Japan, there were a lot of people, wearing goods and giving signs with their clothes and accessories, that they might be going to the same place I was heading to.  

So, VAMPS is really in town~ kyaaaa

I think it was around 4 pm when I got to the line which was amazingly long!! There were already a lot of people gathered and they were very excited, talking about music, their connections to the Japanese pop culture, Haido's body etc etc. I looked for the place to receive my ticket (since I got it through internet) and I heard there was a girl walking along the line changing the tickets, so the best I could do was returning to the line.

The line is a good place to make friends. Since you will be there standing with them, a good thing to do is interacting. Of course, since I am formerly a very closed, shy person, only after my renewal, I came to act that way. Also, I am much more eloquent when I am happy and excited and I was hugely!! That way, I met a girl and a guy. They were from São Paulo, I guess, and we changed some info about the show, how it would be totally SOLD OUT if the promotion was longer than just 2 months and so on. This guy also told me about the list of those granted with the MEET and GREET experience (which seemed to consist of having their original CDs or any official article of the band signed;  handshake and *maybe* some random talk) and HIGH TOUCH ( which I was by the time a bit confused by the meaning of it. The word touch really makes my imagination run wild....even now). The guy asked me if I was granted and I told him the selection was unfair to those who still haven't retrieved their tickets, like me !!

After some more talk in the line, a really big and serious staff passed along the line recruiting the granted people, saying “HIGH TOUCH, quem é do HIGH TOUCH, venha comigo!!” ( Who is going for the HIGH TOUCH, follow me) and I saw some people gathering before him. So, I told my new friends if it was just a matter of being inclined to do it or not, and my friend showed me on his smartphone that the production had released a numbered list for those who could attend it. I couldn't refrain from imagine I could break the security and enter there, too. As I told someone really dear to me that also loves Honey chan as much as I do, "Brazil is not Japan. This is wild. If you don't fight, you’re eaten". I meant that for I believe anything is possible and, since it is something my heart is into, I won't just keep standing before fighting!! ^^/

So, impetuously, I told my line friends that I was going to the start of the line to try to penetrate to Haido's restricted region. Kyaaa Love give us courage and I was kinda euphoric which is probably the same as drunk and there I was, steeping fast, going for more. When I reached the line, I told a very nice mister staff I had to retrieve my ticket and he asked me if I was there for the HIGH TOUCH. Well, what could I answer, YEAH!! (It was not a lie, of course). Then, he told me I better enter the line. I asked where and he said anywhere, since there are 50 people and they all get into. So, I penetrated the line. People looked me as if I was an intruder (Ohhh, no. I was caught!!). Then, for my better, I started interacting again, since I was highly excited. Then a very nice guy and girl, rather prepared for the touching opportunity, I may say, started telling me how excited this opportunity was to them. I also gave my comments. We talked about how good is VAMPS’s tunes. How talented Haido san is and how hot!! Actually, we 3 talked a lot how gostoso he is. Even the guy seemed rather prepared to shake hands while appreciating Honey’s beauty. I told how it was something special for me and how I was intrigued by the words “high” and “touch”. I asked them if it consisted of a High 5… but then I added how I think this kind of touch is so fast and less intimate than a hug or a kiss. So, I considered if it was called High touch because we’re only supposed to touch the upper half of the body…. I remember of also saying no doubt everyone was so excited since he was gato (handsome, hot) and talented. Then, we rose in our excitement until the other girl put into words what my body was rushing to tell me:
Não sou homem, mas estou de pau duro!
(I’m not a guy, but my cock is hard)
Haaaaa, this is the same way how I feel, mine is hard too!, I told her. By this time, some male staff that were in the start of the line seemed kinda ashamed. Then, we asked if they knew VAMPS and Haido san and they told us they listened to them while they were checking the sound, in the rehearsal and thought they have a good vibrant sound. We agreed. By this time, I got to the point of the truth. There was really a numbered list with names on it!! The girl in front of me had her name in the list, she got into. I was being checked and the guy who was also into touching Haido also got into and as much as the staff looked for my name in the list he couldn’t find it. I tried to be convincing:

 “Please, take a new look. I am sure it is there. I was told to come into line because I would touch him too~”

Sometimes, I am amazed how shameless I can be. I really got the nerve sometimes!! Then, I started complaining, how I wanted it and now they‘re not finding my name on the list. The staff was Japanese descendant and somehow looked at me quite seriously. He told me “Sorry, I can’t let you in”. I pretended crying (actually my heart was somehow pierced), and I added like a kitty “This mean I won’t touch him?” The guy was emphatic: “NO”

What the hell!!!
My cheeks were red and burning but I just turned around and with my head down I went straight back to the point in line my friends were. They asked me rather excited “How was it?” I told them the story of almost getting there and they told me how they thought I would get into since I spent long time there。。. So, resigned, I told them 
“Se eu entrasse lá, eu o pegaria legal e provavelmente não haveria mais show depois disso” 
(If I got into there, I’d touch him really hard and deliciously, so that he wouldn't be in conditions to do any show after that). 
They agreed!!
So, recomposed after the almost penetration in Haido’s restricted area, after some more talk, the line started moving!!
 Yeahhhh, we’re getting into~


Sunday, 18 January 2015

The Secret

Happy New Year!!

I wish 2015 is a wonderful year filled with abundance of health, love, passion, success and much accomplishments.

I spend the New Year' Eve at my friend's house with some other friends. Thinking about what we desired for the new year, we got to the conclusion we were all sick of lackness, absence,  deprivation,  scarcity, poverty,  shortage, dearth, famine and paucity of any kind in any aspects of our lives.

I kind of led us to this wish of abundance of everything that is good and brings us healthy happiness for 2015 and on.This comes as a conclusion from a long journey where I spent years starving on the desert that was my life. I was the perfect portrait of happiness anorexia.  Anytime happiness would come forth to my life, I would try to take  hold of it by measuring how much of it I deserved to take. Since, by that time, my self- allowed quota for happiness was so little, I couldn't have enough before feeling guilty.

I always loved Narcissus and Goldmund by Hermann Hesse and, even though I was so found of both characters, even though I saw how much of Narcissus was in me, even though I knew how desperate I was to be in comfort, I still kept myself locked in the desert of privation.  I was like the blind that does mot want to see. By that time, I really couldn't see another possibility for me. Like the world's worst criminal,  I setenced myself to the worst penalty.

I was guilty and no matter what people would tell me could make me believe the opposite.

So, when was the turning point to becoming fond of abundance?

The turning point was achieved by psychology help, of course, that led me to meditation and a true encounter to my true self. Enlightment made me unlocked from all the illusional  world of privation and suffering I was. It was really interesting how it made me rethink my entire world and reorganize things.

I didn't read The Secret or such books and whenever someone talked about suvh things I somehow thought foolish. But, after all my journey, I have discovered that lots of those concepts are actually true. However, the real secret is not found in books or religions, I think it is the knowledge of life within ourselves. I mean you may also learn from books but for it to ring true it must be worked inside.

Then, for the first time, l conjured all my powers to be happy. I started accepting and loving myself as I am, then I got myself done with the past and eliminated guilty and regret from my life. I let myself go and run free. Suddenly, the desert around me was starting to grow green leaves, flowers and a stream. The change in my attitude towards any situation was positive to better results. I started experiencing something that had sounded fleeting for me for so  long: constant happiness. When I was younger, I would feel that suffering was constant and happiness was fleeting. And that was the truth. That was the world I chose myself to live. By meditating, I also discovered my power as an individual and as part of the universe. We are all Gods and our powers are beyond our imagination.

I am happy for being alive and for having destroyed the sadness inside me. I am happy for being me and for being awake.

I think it was a terrible year I had in 2014 but it was also a successful year. Like a Phoenix,  I was terribly sick to die, afraid of dying, afraid of the changes on reborning, but, then, after all this process, I feel like I can start couting my life from 2015 and on. I have no doubts the brightest days I have to live start from now on because I feel, at last, happy about myself and about my life and ready to enjoy every day.

Happy 2015~