Sunday, 29 January 2012

(人’∀’)<“Happy birthday to you♪”

.
.
.

ミo◕v◕o彡 お誕生日おめでとうございます、 ハニー~☆!!!

01.29 Today is Haido san's birthday!!

















I greeted him a lot along the day, through the night but still I want to write some words here.

Haido san is my eternal love. Today his autobiography has been released, THE HYDE. No matter what's written in there, the Haido I know is someone cute, gentle, very talented and smart but above all someone who keeps a very innocent heart deep inside. I feel very proud of my love for you, honey. It's as special as everything good I've ever imagined love to be. I think deeper than a name what is more significant when I think of you is all the package of feelings, sensations you've ever provoked me. Of course, I'm happy to know your name and being able to call it whenever I want to cause a more specific reaction than when calling you "Haido san"~ . Moreover, it's good to hear from you. I know the book have facts from your life which I'll avidly read. I know that's how it is: when you love someone, you want to know everything about him because every part of him is important for you. So, it makes The Haido a very important present Haido san is giving to me. I also see it as a big proof of acceptance. You can only open up to someone after trusting this person and loving this person. So I guess Haido san has fallen in love to the people that have loved him for so long that he has finally felt that he eagerly wants those people to know about the truths in his heart. 

It's very beautiful, the moment when a lover generously opens up to his love, ready to give everything. I take the book as an invitation to go deeper and deeper into honey.

Okay. I accept. I love you~ I want to search in every corner of you until I can drink all of your secrets. 


>_____<





I don't think it's a world without dreams. Actually every kind of love starts from the dream, the desire you have towards achieving it. I think life goes on by the pursuing of dreams. Some truths are good to be revealed and shared, some are private and should stay private in order to protect dearest ones, oneself, a nation. There must be a balance for everything in this world. I'm sure Haido san shared what he thought relevant to be shared without affecting his individuality or the individuality of those around him. He's not only gentle but very understanding. Keeping a gentle, innocent heart even though aging is one of the most powerful dreams of this world, I think; and through Haido san I keep on believing it's possible. Someone who has such heart will never get old and this is one of the most cherished dreams that the humankind has ever had.


Taday, Haido san is becoming 43 years-old. May this date be 100000000000 times repeated over and over!! May my dearest have much health, happiness, success, achievements, friendship, love and lots of wonderful things to remember all his life. As for me, I wish I can make you happy forever~ o/




I profoundly admire you. Never lose this heart I love.

Hope my words can embrace you since my arms can't reach you now (But soon they will. Get ready!)


Happy Birthday~!!


Lots of Love~


Viiiiiiiiiiiii








Chu--------- ☆chuuuuuuuuu----- ☆chuuuu☆







.
.
.
.

VAMPSメクリ~★

.
.
.






HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY~~~~~~!!!!
.
.
.

Sunday, 22 January 2012

The Haido- Chapter 5 - E-Mail

.
.
.

CHAPTER V


E-Mail

I use to check my email every time my phone bips there’s a new mail in my inbox. Sometimes, I can’t read it at once if I’m in the middle of work or in a flight connection. I try to be neat when it comes to emails, so I often try to read my emails and instantly reply. Sometimes I have loads of emails in a day, so I might just send a little reply saying "I’ve received your email. I’m very happy. I’ll reply it as soon as possible".

In my inbox are not only emails directed to me, Takarai (Haido san’s real surname), but also sent to Hyde. In proportion, there was a time Hyde would always receive more email than me but since 2009, I’ve been receiving more messages than him (laughs) Fortunately, though I’ve been receiving more emails than him, it doesn’t mean I’m not working a lot nowadays (laughs)

When I’m touring, I use emails quite much to keep in touch with my family. My mom likes to know I’m alright and behaving well (laugh) When I go on tour for a long time and kazu can’t come with me, we write long emails to each other. I’m very romantic so I use to end up love emails with kisses and hugs. I feel very happy whenever kazu san writes me a line. I feel my heart beating fast when I see his on top of my Inbox!! Then, with a smile on my lips, I avidly run and find a place for myself where I can calmly read it. 
I also hold dear all the friendship, love emails I’ve ever received. I keep all of them and I’d be lying if I said I don’t mind not receiving season’s greetings or birthday’s greetings (laughs) I also feel very happy when I read hydeist’s mails and my fans tell me they can feel the season in hydeist (HYDE’s official fanclub website. The site changes the decoration according to the season) and how happy they are and how they want me to take care of my health or enjoy the season. I love reading such cute innocent messages as well. I think it’s lovely when I’m treated with so much caress from them.

As for birthday mails, I have some I am every year pretty sure the senders won’t forget me. I have some reliable senders, I might say, however, I’ve noticed they all seem to be rivalizing to Yasu lately on who will send me a birthday mail first (laughs)

Daigo, for example, has sent me his birthday message at midnight. I was awake, chatting, and in the middle of the talk I heard a bip from my email program and there it was: “Happy Birthday, Haido sama!!” (laughs). So I replied, “what a good timing~!!”

Kazu , on the other hand, even though I know about his delays when it comes to emails, has done a cute thing for me the last years. In 2010, he sent me a mobile message in the night of the 28th saying “Let’s have a tea?” Since I knew what he was talking about I ran to hydeist chat and we talked through the night much happily. We talked about many topics from music and composition to new clothes trends and manga. Time passes really fast when we’re together, but before it was midnight his intentions became clear (smile) “Hai, Honey. Happy Birthday”. I think kazu is really cute. I love whenever he calls me “honey”. I thanked him, of course (laughs) When it was midnight of the other day his birthday mail came!! (laughs) He told me that since in the West it was still the 29th, so he was still on time (laughs) Fairly clever!! Then, enclosed to the message it was an audio file!! I felt very excited. I listen to this composition he sent me even now. I felt very happy that day.

Yukki’s mail comes through mobile phone really late at night or I may say early morning. Last time, it came when I was ready to sleep. It biped and when I clicked the message it said “Hapiba” (laughs) “Quite minimalist”, I thought to myself (laughs)

During the morning, it was Tecchan’s time. I was having breakfast, wearing a bathrobe!! My ipad was on my lap and it vibrated slightly.  I touched it and somehow, looking at the banana on the table, I knew it was him (laughs) “Happy Birthday, Doi hachirou~”, it was written with a list of new technological releases he was asking me to choose as birthday present. There were so many possibilities I felt my head hurting (laughs) I just clicked on something spherical where I could read cleaner in the specification. I thought it could help me in the house chores (laughs)

What they don’t know, however, is that Yasu doesn’t send me emails (laughs) Yasu has always sent me flowers in my birthday that often comes with chocolate with liqueur inside.  I love eating bonbon in the morning of my birthday. However, somehow, Gacchan knew about it and, to my surprise, when the bell rang and I went to the door, a cute person wearing an apron, holding 2 bouquets of flowers and some wrappings was standing on my doorway!! I signed what was necessary and sat on the sofa to discover who the senders were. However, just by looking at the arrangement of the bouquets I could tell whose was which. The colorful arrange filled with open flowers was Yasu’s. The chocolate was enclosed. The scent of the flowers was lovely and enticing. The way the chocolates were wrapped was almost sexy (laughs) There were 69 of it, by the way!! I let it resting on my tights. A note inside it said “Hold me anytime, kamisama!!” (laughs) I thought to myself Yasu has a very straight way to express his feelings. It’s definitely something I admire in him.  The other bouquet was made of deep red roses. Some were in bloom; some still had their buds innocently closed. It’s like life, I thought to myself, full of mysteries still to be disclosed, making of it a so exciting experience.  I read the note just to certify what I had already thought. It was Gacchan’s!! The note said, “For my hero. I love you. Have a splendid birthday”. Just when I was recovering from his “I love you” and the possessive pronoun, I saw a big thing wrapped on a golden present paper!! I ripped the paper and there it was, a huge stuffed bear with a red ribbon around his neck. It was so huge it occupied half of the sofa!! I also knew how to call that huge bear before reading Gacchan’s note. It’s typical of him, I told myself. His note just said “Take care of Suzuki san. When I go to your house next time, I want to see you’re treating him well”.

Suzuki san has been a nice company from now on.

*Note: Suzuki san, is the Fujoshi icon among BL lovers. He’s a huge bear owned by Usami sensei in Junjou Romantica.



Answering Kazu's emails in the toilet. I had a nosebleed that day, that's why I'm wearing a mask©Personal Archive.
.
.
.

VAMPSメクリ~★

.
.
.






.
.
.

Saturday, 14 January 2012

The HAIDO- Chapter 4- DOCTOR

.
.
.
CHAPTER IV


Doctor

I’m very careful when it comes to health. I’m always telling my friends, if someone reports me something is going strange with the body, “You should go to the doctor”.

I know some people are afraid to go to the doctor, but I’ve never really been afraid. Of course, maybe that’s because I have a good doctor.

I think the most impressive memory I have of going to the doctor was when I was in primary school. I was riding my bicycle then I got down the slope and crashed on the wall. I went so fast I couldn't use the breakers. So, when I went straight to the wall I hit my head and had many many injuries all over my body. Even now I have scars from this accident. I lost consciousness and when I woke up I was in the hospital room.

The doctor was a nice gentleman. He was around his 30’s. He wore glasses and a white lab vest. I recall he was often taking notes whenever he talked to me, asking how I was feeling. He had penetrating eyes. My mother told me that even though I was in primary school, the doctor was not a Pediatrician. Her concern was evident, so I thought they sent me a doctor of adults because my case was serious.

The difference was clear. I used to go to the doctor and he used to have many cute things on his desk and whenever he talked to me, he’d ask me about manga or anime. This time, the doctor treated me like a grown up!! Somehow, I felt really glad. It felt like I had become a man so suddenly which made all our talks very exciting. I even tried to use polish Japanese in those occasions (laughs)

Another event that happened when I was in the hospital was my awareness of women. When I woke up I noticed I was naked under the hospital gown I was wearing. So I thought that the nurse took off my clothes and I became very ashamed. Whenever the nurse came to check my temperature or the IV bags due to the fluid replacement, I’d blush thinking “she has seen it”. (laughs) She was a beautiful lady. She wore nurse clothes and a nurse’s hat. She had beautiful hands and her nails were pale pink and her fingers were very long. She used to talk to me calmly and she often smiled whenever she caught my gaze.

  She gave me sweets and often came to turn on the TV for me. I liked watching Kamen Rider episodes and Tama no Monogatari (Anime title, "Uchi no Tama shirimasen ka?") about a little kitty. She used to watch Tama with me.

Once I woke up in the idle of the night and saw a woman dressed in white sat on my bed. She looked at me and made a gesture with her hand. I knew she was dead. She smiled at me and looked down. I think she touched my foot. I felt it really cold and screamed. She got surprised and stood up. She just smiled at me once again and vanished in the air. Next morning when I told my mother what happened; my mother told me she was probably an angel who was taking care of me. I’ve never forgotten that and started feeling I’d like to meet her again.

Later in life, I was preparing myself to start the VAMPS World Tour and a week before it was scheduled to start, I got a terrible cold. I was with nose bleeding due to the heavy sneezes. I had fever and muscular pain. So I reported to Kazu how I was feeling and said that maybe we should call a doctor. He looked down at me and said “no”. I was shocked (laughs) He seemed very serious when he said that. Then seeing my puzzled face he only added “I’m gonna take care of you”.

Kazu surely has a side he wouldn’t show to everybody. Anytime he took the charge of giving me a medicine, he wore a nurse hat that was left in my apartment by Gacchan (laughs) Kazu is very cute indeed. He decorated the bed with kaeru chan and kuma chan, our mascots.  He did take care of me, preparing me misoshiru and giving me lemonade with honey. I told him that as a singer I have to avoid lemon juice, so he prepared hot chocolate instead and hot soup for me. Everything he made was very delicious! He slept by my side all the time not worrying of might taking my cold. Moreover, he often came to me to check my temperature in the night. We called the doctor and asked for advices on what to do with the nose bleeding and I was subscribed a gel. Kazu san took hold of it very gently.   


 I’ve even dressed as a doctor once. But that is a long story (laughs)



.
.
.

Wednesday, 11 January 2012

The HAIDO- Chapter 3- COUCH

.
.
.


CHAPTER III


Couch


I really love sleeping on the cough.

Sleeping on the couch for me is not a synonym that I was not allowed to sleep on my bed or share the same bedroom… (Suspicious laugh) I’d just say that couches have a great meaning for me.

I have many couches in my house, actually. I may say I love working on a chair in a table but working on the couch is totally different for me. Moreover, couches are more spacious, so I can lie down if I please. I like the fact I can do my work in many different positions when I’m on the couch. When I start composing or writing lyrics, I often have to keep working for hours without a break, so it’s also important to feel comfortable and being able to change the position anytime.

Back in the late 90’s, yukki used to come to the couch and sit next to me while I was working on lyrics. He used to come closer silently, like a kitty, and just take his place on it, quite next to me. I would feel uneasy if someone else sat by my side while I was writing lyrics but somehow I felt quite calm and at easy whenever he was close to me. I think yukki has also that calmness inside him that can react with my own calmness and make the atmosphere around us lighter and peaceful. I used to feel myself even more inspired just by the feeling of his presence. I think he wanted to show me his support, but at the same time he didn’t want to bother me. As if yukki could ever bother me!! (laughs)So, he’d be there quietly just to show me I could count on him if I needed.

At those times, he’d hardly talk to me, so after some time working, I’d look at his side to check if he was still there but I ended up seeing his sleeping face (smile) Somehow, just that vision would make me work even harder.

Nowadays, maybe as we have grown more intimate, it‘s almost impossible to stay silent for a long time when I’m by his side. Moreover, the distance he sits from me seems to have shortened a lot!! To the point of him being able to peep over my papers (laughs) I instinctively put my hands on it, trying to hide it but most of the times, he allures me to show my scraps to him ;__; Then, he offers me some help with the lyrics and I accept it (laughs)

I also remember that when I moved for the first time to share a room with someone else, we got very excited when we got to buy our couch. We’d try it very frolic whenever we passed across the living room for any reason, feeling how spacious it was and smooth. We used to often do something on it. Unfortunately, couches get stained easily...

I can sleep easily anywhere and couches are very good for that matter as well. Techan often comes to me when I’m sleeping on the office’s couch. He seems  overwhelmed whenever he gets to spot me taking a nap. I think that’s his maternal side burning on him (laughs) He uses to softly whisper in my ear, so softly his voice sounds like coming from a good dream :"Doiha, are you comfortable this way? Wanna come to bed?" And as I murmur something undistinguishable out from my sleep, he leaves the room just to return some time later with a warm blanket that he uses to cover me gently. So, I think to myself how good it is to be taken care for someone so dear.

Wherever I am in the world, I’ll definitely always sleep on the warmness of a good couch and also do some great work on it.




                             I had to go to the floor when we had no couch around ©photo taken by V- Winter of 93- Personal Archive 




                                                                       On the cough at the office. ©Photo from Hydeist



                                          On the couch, making a live.   ©Photo by V- Personal Archive (Mata Heart ni tsukero!!)



                                           This photo was taken at my house. I asked yukki to take it. ©Photo by yukki, 2006


                                          I got tired and fell asleep after working©Photo by Kazu, June, 2010 .Personal Archive

.
.

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

The HAIDO- Chapter 2- BL

.
.
.

CHAPTER II

BL

Actually it’s an abbreviation for Boy’s Love. I think all good-looking male whose image has been made public will soon or later find out about its meaning (laughs) I thought I'd see it only in Asia but I've seen BL also in overseas!!

I know that is about male relationships that are made up for girls. I remember of having my first contact with BL in my very early years with L’Arc~en~Ciel. When we were leaving Club Rockets (Cradle of many indie rock bands from Osaka. A cool live house where L’Arc~en~Ciel had their primordial performances), after one of our shows, we faced a group of about 5 female fans that were waiting for us at the backdoor exit of the live house to get our autographs and some info where we’d perform next. They were all very enthusiastic, giggling and blushing whenever we say something (laughs) Then, one of them came right to me and handed me a nice letter. She was clearly embarrassed of giving me the letter and I wondered she had probably said something like “Daisuki” inside it or something alike that would be taken as a love confession. From the top of my youth’s selfishness, I felt it was somehow cute. I was learning how to cope with such feelings by that time: the feelings of the fans towards me, and my feelings towards them. She just added after I signed her ticket: “Please, don’t forget to open the letter”. And I noticed her eyes had a strange glow when she said that. Then she left and that glow, maybe, made me actually not part from the envelope I had in my hands.

After some drinks with the guys, we were so exhausted from the shows, that were happily starting to become constant, that I waved them good-bye and went home. I remember it was late at night already. The night was cloudy and chilly. I went the way home walking and appreciating the night, feeling the breeze that entangled around my body. No doubt it would soon start to rain. Thinking about that made my hand go to the pocket of my jacket just to check if the envelope would be safe if the rain caught me on the way.
After a shower, I just sat on the bed and saw the letter on it. It was as any other fan letter I had received. It was cutely decorated and from it came a very nice smell from the stationary the girl used. I was just puzzled how something so ordinary was causing me such apprehension?

“Damn it, let’s just see what’s inside”, I told myself out loud as I ripped the envelope at once, taking care not to cut off the cute flowers she drew outside it, though.

There was a letter inside, very small. It was more likely to be a note. I felt it suspect since I was waiting for a more intimate confession. The note said “You’re very pretty. I love your long hair. I understand your feelings. I support your love for Tetsu san” (laughs). She ended the sentence with a heart!! I was like “What the Hell??”. In my olden days, I was expecting for ardent fans that would open up their hearts. I had seen many foreign rock bands’ VHS. The love of fans of rock artists was ardent. They’d go serious if they loved a band member and I was warned that being the vocal, I’d get a lot of love confessions, so I should be careful. I thought I was prepared for my first serious love confession as a rock artist but, in reality, she was saying I was dating another band member.

The subject started coming to my mind frequently. Maybe it was because of my looks with long hair? It was right that I was constantly mistaken for a girl in those times or maybe it was because I was really quite close to Tecchan… But none I could think of would make me understand why that girl would think that.

Later, as the shows started to become more and more frequent and we started performing in other cities, our fandom seemed to grow bigger and bigger. It was surely a good sign that our music was getting to be noticed for more and more people. And the BL subject was for a time out of my mind until another girl gave me another letter when she could catch me at the parking. She handed me a cute letter and told me “Read it, please” and as I looked at her and our eyes met, there it was: that same glow!! (laughs) I felt a cold shiver running through my spine.

As soon as the girl left the parking, I opened the envelope and again a small letter said “You’re very pretty >_< Please, never cut your hair~ I love how it moves when you jump. I have noticed you’re very fond of Sakura san. I love you together. You do a nice pairing~ Please, be sweet to him. I know he loves you too”. Perplexed with her words, I opened the bigger amount of papers that were enclosed with the letter and to my surprise I saw the doushinji she drew(a fan magazine created by amateurs who are training their writing and drawing techniques making side stories of their favorite characters ). She not only had written that saku chan and me were a couple as she drew it!! It was actually very easy to recognize myself in those pages as I confessed “Sakura chan” I can only think of him whenever I start writing lyrics and how I’d love to be held by him!!! (laugh) I can laugh about it now but at that time it turned into a big problem. I felt terribly irritated by those pages. What were those girls thinking?





Since it really became an issue to me, I talked about it with ken chan. He said he hardly got such kind of mails but his opinion about them was positive. For him, I was adored by my fans to the point of them to start fantasize about me. He also said I was pretty and maybe that would make me more suitable for such stories and mocking me, he said he’d love to be my seme (the active partner in a homo/BL relationship), if he could. What??? I’d never thought about that(laughs)

As we grew more and more famous, the fan mails were so big I couldn’t read everything but if I did a percentage of the letters I got with any kind of BL content, it would be around 77%. Moreover, this genre was vast going from manga to novels, passing for the illustrations and on. That was one of the reasons I passed a long time without reading any fan letter!! It hurt being depicted that way... that time.
I cut my hair and showed more of my male look. The girls like it too but the internet was filled with fanfictions of their favorite pairings. In those fan made stories I was often depicted doing things I’d better hide from my mom... So, I found out how far a girl filled with that glow could go.

Then, around 2000, I met someone very dear to me. She was constantly telling me I was pretty. We hang out a lot together at that time and she also loved mangas and drew them. She would send me reviews on the lives and new projects. Once, when I got to know her deeper, she furtively told me she thought I am sexy even in girl’s clothes. Then I saw in her eyes the reflection of that same glow that had amazed me in the eyes of my fans shining in my own eyes.

Somehow, I found out the pleasure it is to make the one you love satisfied, so I started dealing better with any BL subject that has been arising in my career. I think my reluctance in accepting my fans’ way of expressing their love towards me was actually part of my immaturity. When I started knowing the woman’s heart better, I’ve realized that if I can penetrate their imaginary, I’ll have the key to their hearts. BL was the way they had to tell me how deep they think of me, appreciate my work and look after me. I think it’s very amusing knowing about what they’re drawing and writing. Actually, it’s really amusing giving them some fan service and enjoying with a pleased face their enjoyment caused by my teasing ways. It’s something I’ve come to enjoy more and more with the years.

Nowadays, I am into all the fuss over my marshmallow and I hold dear all the kazuhai episodes you’ve written (laughs)



.
.
.

Sunday, 8 January 2012

The HAIDO- Chapter 1- Apron

.
.
.


The Haido

Introduction


This Project started by the time Haido san confirmed that his first autobiography will be released in January. There was a big explosion of rumors and comments on what kind of contents could this book have. Since my feelings are of great expectation and because I have followed all those speculating on how this book is going to be, I came up with this project. I hope to update every day a new topic, following what was said about the original The HYDE, which is going to be organized in topics following the alphabet letters.
I’m doing this because I think it’s amusing speculating on the book while waiing for the release. It’s more of a fanfiction, actually. And it’s done with love and with the hopes that if Haido san ever takes a look at it, laughs with me at all this flow from my imagination. I’m trying to make funny and cute episodes and yet possible reactions from what I’ve known from Haido san from all these years.  Please, enjoy the reading. And comments are very much appreciated as well as any interesting episode you might remember I can add in here.


CHAPTER I

Apron  

I think it’s an interesting theme to start my autobiography with!! It reminds me of food and how I love eating and flavoring new dishes. Moreover, it also reminds me of how I love to prepare my own food. Yes, that is cooking.

It’s an old interest of mine, cooking, I mean . Maybe it came in my genes, since my parents have been holding a restaurant for quite a time. I remember since very young watching my mom preparing the soba and how warm and good was the smell in the kitchen. Even my cat, Ryuu, would come to my lap just to flavor with me the good smell of the soba that she was preparing.

When I grew up and became an adult, I would start to make my own soba. Of course, cooking is an Art and I’ve become more and more skilled in doing it as I practiced. Actually, I’ve been doing a lot of soba recently and I think I’ll do more and more soba as the years go by.
As for the apron, which is the main topic here, I have to say my friends know how I love cooking, so they have presented me with some cute aprons along the years (laughs)

When I was filming Moonchild, Gacchan (famous musician, GACKT) presented me with a cute black apron with nice pink frufrus decorating its borders. It was written,” Hug The Cooker” (laughs) It was actually our internal joke at the time. Once, I found a female manga in my room and my intuition told me it was Gacchan’s. Its name was “Haru wo daite ita” (Youka Nitta’s sensei’s famous BL manga). It is for girls but Gacchan was reading it. I opened it and was like “Ohhhh, so that’s how he likes it” (laughs) Then, I wanted to know if it was really his interest reading such literature, then I hide it in my things. Noticing it was missing, Gacchan came to me and straightly asked me if I was reading “Haru wo Dai” as well. He seemed over excited with the possibility I’m also a reader of that manga (laughs) Then, I asked him why he was reading such book, then he said he was researching… Then, a silence.  It’s surely a vague answer but I didn’t want to push him so hard, so I returned his manga. Then he asked if I read it, and I said “Sort of…”. Maybe I blushed or he saw I became uneasy at his question… I don’t really know why but since then, he started calling me “Senpai” and presented me with the apron without even being my birthday!! The saying on the apron is a pun with the name of the manga, by the way (laughs)

I have many aprons that are given to me whenever I make a delicious dish or during the seasons when I am really addicted to cooking. I am always very happy to cook to everybody I love. And whenever I receive a new apron, I take it as an incentive such as “Good Luck, do your best. You have my support”. I feel much love whenever I see my aprons.




Apron presented by Tecchan. Summer of 2002-© Personal Archive.

.
.
.

VAMPSメクリ~★

.
.
.






.
.
.

Sunday, 1 January 2012